A good friend from my grade school days has been going through some marriage trauma. She recently gave birth and her dh of less than two years is filing for divorce. Long story. Aren’t they all? Sigh.
She called me the other night wanting straight talk, and I told her according to my understanding, if her dh divorced her, she wouldn’t be free to remarry till he remarried someone else or died. (Matthew 5:31-32)
My “verdict” was like delivering a death sentence. She’s fairly sure he won’t ever remarry, having once been burned. She’s not even sure he was a Christian to begin with.
You all know how I feel about “choices” and that marriage vows have to mean something. You have to enter into it with no “back door escape clause”…God’s ways may seem unfair, and harsh, but they’re for our good. However, my heart hurts for my friend.
I just love reading husband/wife blogs. I’ve got another set for you later this week…
Commitment isn’t for the faint of heart. The truth is, most couples are incompatible in the beginning. God’s ways aren’t always our ways, but once you marry that person, they become Mr. or Mrs. Right…
Here are some scriptures regarding this topic (thanks Dad and Mom for your help with these):
Malachi 2:16, “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce for it covers one’s garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. ‘Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously’.” (Use the link to read the verses in context.)
1 Corinthians 7:15, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (This verse leaves room for argument, but in light of Matthew 5:31, I don’t think the innocent spouse is up for remarriage…and reading Matthew 5:31-48 with a hard marriage in mind, well, it’s kind of a tough message.)
Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (and the next verse, 5, is meaningful for those wanting to persist in a hard marriage) “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as you have for he hath said, ‘I will never leave thee, I will never forsake thee’.”
And ponder this:
Isaiah 29:13, “Therefore the Lord said, ‘Inasmuch as these people draw near to me with their mouths, and honor me with their lips, but have removed their hearts far from me., and their fear toward me is taught by the commandment of men’.” (easy to take a pastor’s word for it, but make sure it aligns with the Bible)
Matthew 15:8, 19, and 20, “These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man…”
For out of the heart proceed…adulteries… Being married is being one, it’s a sacred trust. You can’t allow your heart to wander, it’s the same as committing adultery. Different consequences, but faithlessness all the same.
I always like to recommend Restore Ministries to those in hurtful relationships, marriage or otherwise. You’ll find encouragement and testimonies from those who’ve fought the fight and endured, wanting God’s best for their lives.
Remember Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Besides the Bible, get your hands on a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. Read it before you get married, if possible! I’d been married 12 years before reading it, and my eyes were opened and convicted!
Anybody want to chime in on this topic? Feel free.