If you’ve noticed, in all your blog-reading today, I don’t advocate infant-spanking. I can’t remember reading that in any of the Pearl’s stuff, and definitely not in the Ezzo’s materials. I know they both recommend swatting hands as early as 8 months of age, but that’s all I recall. I guess the common sense part of what I’ve taken away and USED is what sticks with me. Do you agree with everything Dr. Sears recommends? Maybe you do.

On the spanking, we rarely have to spank, but I feel it’s because of how we’ve raised the kiddos and the level of love and respect we’ve got for each other.

I’m not a die-hard fan of anybody but the Lord, and I have to admit the scheduling and ordered way of raising kids appeals to me based on my reading of the word.

i know you said you don’t spank for silly things, but as you know, the pearls advocate spanking for anything and everything, starting in infancy. i find that extremely immoral and wrong and detrimental to the parent child bond. i personally believe that if you’re usinf spnaking more than every once in a blue moon, it’s very likely that you are using it inappropriately.

I think it’s because I started young with the kids and high with my expectations that they’re so easy to be around. We don’t punish for silly moments, we let the “kids be kids”…they know they’re loved and cherished and can talk to us about anything without getting a long lecture. They’re considerate, which is huge to me. I don’t want obedience out of fear or done in bitterness and resentment, I want my family functioning as a family unit in which each is looking out for the other’s best. This takes training.

And training isn’t all about spanking and sin, etc. It’s a lot of talking and role-playing in non-conflict times. A parent has to have the right attitude in order for the child to have the right response.

I’m interested in what route you recommend, books, authors/speakers? And not so I can pick it apart, I’m truly interested.

I think too many choices give young children a big head. They begin to think they know better than mommy or daddy and soon you have a huge problem on your hands. Ever hear parents bargaining with their offspring? Scary. Our oldest still seeks permission for many things other kids take for granted, yet she is so responsible and clear-headed she often takes the initiative in filling in where needed by helping in our family. In terms of responsibility, she acts more like a 13 year old than a 9 year old. I just love how thoughtful she is, and respectful. And I funnel-parented her “religiously”. So they eventually become responsible, good decision makers w/o all the opportunities as a young child.

Amy, one thing I found surprising is that even at 8 months old, these littles have GREAT memories! They are so sharp and learn earlier than you’d think. It’s so hard to remember when they “ignore” you that they are probably doing it on purpose! What worked for me before actually saying “no” was getting her attention by saying her name…let’s say it’s Lydia. “Lydia, look at mommy”…then once you get her eyes on yours, then you say “no”. That way she’s got the message loud and clear and can’t ignore you. She’s a bit young, but when the time comes, that simple advice (from Elisabeth Elliot) works wonders. You may have to reinforce it the first couple of times with a slight swat to get her attention!

Thanks for getting me thinking.