Toddlers in the Master Bedroom, Q&A

In response to a letter from a friend questioning my comment here once that we still shared our room with our toddler: Breakfast in Bed

Do they ever sleep with you?

We’ve never let our babies/toddlers sleep with us in our bed, only on certain occasions when they were really sick and I was getting up and down and up and down, etc, with them anyway. Dh was always concerned even those few times would mean they’d forever expect to be in our bed, but my toddler would ask a couple times, “Sleep in your bed, Mommy?” and I’d say “no, it’s the middle of the night, go back to sleep” (this always happened one or two nights after she was sufficiently well to sleep on her own again!) and she’d grump just a bit but drift back off to sleep. In her OWN bed! Lol.

Was it hard transitioning them to their own room after they’d shared a room with you?

I think my answer to the first question is why it wasn’t a big deal with any of ours to move them out of our room. For my oldest, she really didn’t care at one year old that we weren’t around anymore. We’d always gone to bed after her, and gotten up before her, so she didn’t miss our “presence”. My second (middle) child was closer to 15 months when we moved her into oldest’s room on a mattress on the floor. Oldest didn’t want to give up her youth bed yet, and we hadn’t yet built the bunk beds. For my middle child the transition was exciting–to be in big sister’s room! They never shared a bed either. To get them to go to sleep, I did resort to letting them listen to one tape/CD of Christian music or stories. They take turns, one night one of them gets to choose, the next the other one gets her pick. (Oldest always picks Ray Boltz, youngest Rebecca St. James)

On transitioning from a crib to bed:

I had a friend (older wiser mom) tell me when I first transitioned my oldest out of a crib to a toddler bed, to not allow ANY getting out of bed unless she called me and asked permission. This sounds harsh, but it’s amazing! It worked great for both my older girls. I just had a serious talk with them about how they weren’t to get out of bed AT ALL unless they called me in and asked first, and it had to be for a good reason. This kept them in bed at naptime (I also had a monitor in their room till toddler was born and I needed it in the other bedroom!) and at bedtime. Plus, they learned to tell time at a VERY young age. I told my oldest when the clock hands had gone around two times (for a long time they took 2 hr naps, w/o complaint–again listening to books on tape from library, or music) she could get up. Before I knew it, she was saying, “Okay, I can get up when it’s 2 o’clock? Or 3:30?” (at 3 years old that’s pretty cool. I can’t imagine my toddler now being able to do the same thing!)

Of course, my second child needed a couple spankings to get it into her head that she had to stay in bed during naptime (mom meant business) unless of course she had to use the bathroom. They’d always call “Mommmy, I need you…” anyway…that’s how it worked for us.

Lastly, what about romance?

There’s no lack of it at our house. For one thing, romance doesn’t always have to take place in the bedroom…

Any other questions?