The Talk

As we left the wedding I mentioned in my last post, my 8 yo said something reassuring. Reassuring in the sense that she hasn’t had a friend or cousin unveil the “facts of life” to her prematurely.

Walking to our Suburban, still basking in the glow of new married love and excited about the reception to come, she says, “Just think, God might have given her a baby, just now!”

Uh. (I clear my throat and a nervous chuckle escapes me) “Well, maybe not just yet.” My response was a fumble, but there’s a time for everything, and that definitely wasn’t it!

So when is the right time? After the pastor’s cheek-pinkening sermon a month ago? (Whew, thankfully I had a meeting right after church, ’cause she was whispering all sorts of questions to me during the sermon that I put off in the name of “later!”) The thing is, I’ve been feeling convicted about this “talk” for a couple months now. I want it to be a special one and I’ve even bought the Christian book: The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made. Great book, but I’m squeamish about the page that shows a couple in bed together. I really don’t want to get into every little detail…she’s only eight! Am I being too Victorian about this? My husband assures me I’m not! (Ever the protective daddy!)

So how does one go about “the talk”? Ideally, I’d like to take her on an overnight stay to a B&B…have a girls’ night out. Set her straight on the fact that, yes, God gives children to parents but parents have a big part to play. And that it isn’t something we talk about even to our siblings. It’s a private, sacred topic reserved for mothers and daughters/fathers and sons…

And I think I’ve found the perfect springboard: The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop and Susan Henson. This link gives a great review and even more information on what Family Life Resources call “The Princess Ceremony.”

Anyone have any insight on “the talk” that they’d care to share? I’d love to hear how you mothers have handled it.  Or how your mothers handled it with you!

4 thoughts on “The Talk”

  1. Let’s see if WordPress remembers me. :)

    My mother never had “the talk.” I had a sister 19 years older and another 12 years older, and they told me some of the stuff (my “period” kit, etc) and I learned most of the sex stuff by age 9 reading my middle sister’s naughty books and my brother’s girlie magazines.

    Not the best education, but I certainly knew more about sex than most women my mother’s age by the time I was menstruating.

    Plus our Catholic school had the 7th grade sex education classes.

    Mir

  2. You know I’m not sure when is the best time, my 11 year old son has just had “the talk” with his father recently, we felt he wasn’t ready for it until now as for our daughter I don’t think now is the time either although she’s not far off, even so it’s still important to teach our children about the need for purity. My daughter has always told people that God has a special man for her when she’s older though :-)

  3. I just got that same book! But I still wonder…how much detail? My girlies are innocent enough to not ask…but the occasional person who has a baby but is not married does stump them. I just *shrug! 😉 But I know it’s coming…not yet, but it’s coming. ARGH~I’m scared!

  4. Hi Jana! Yep, it’s coming. The strange thing is, my oldest knows how farm animals reproduce but somehow hasn’t made the connection with humans. What I dread is the strangeness of her knowing how it is…she already looks at us with a smirk when she catches us kissing…
    I was hoping to put off the talk till at least age 12. I was in 4th or 5th grade when I found out via a friend at school…and that was how long ago? Sheesh.

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