We’ve had some sickness this past week. Head colds. The blahs. Last weekend, after a particularly whiny and complaint-filled morning, my dh decided to make “complaining” the subject of a “here and now” home Bible study. Using the appendix in the back of his Bible, he quickly looked up several scriptures and read them to us…and this one from 1 Peter really spurred an interesting conversation!

1 Peter 4:9,”Be hospitable without complaint”…

Sure, at first read-through, taking this verse at face value simply verifies what we all know: Christians should practice hospitality. But the “without complaint” part deserves equal consideration!

Practicing Hospitality With Strangers

My Unger’s Bible Dictionary makes the interesting point that Biblical hospitality focuses largely on reaching out to the strangers among us. Read the following in light of 1 Peter 4:9, “Practice hospitality without complaint.”

Luke 14:12-14, “And He also went on to say to the one who had invited Him, ‘When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.’”

Job 31:32, “”The alien has not lodged outside, for I have opened my doors to the traveler.”

“For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.” Matthew 25:35-36

Hebrew 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

I don’t know about you, but it somewhat daunts me, considering the times we live in, this idea of welcoming strangers in my home. However, the flip side is that kind acts by strangers are not soon forgotten. I’ll forever remember the time our small town librarian introduced me to another homeschooling mom browsing in the library. Five minutes of chatting later, I found myself promptly invited over for grilled cheese and Campbell’s soup–that same day!

My brother shared recently what he calls a “God Appointment”. He stopped to help a family stranded by the roadside. The car’s owner said at the outset, “This is God’s car and it’s in His hands”…to which my brother replied, “That’s great if you access God’s car through His Son Jesus Christ!”

This family ended up being a homeschooling family, the father is a prison chaplain, and they spent two or three days hanging out with my brother and his wife and kids (who also homeschool), having a great time while the car was in the repair shop. And my brother just about didn’t stop to help them. Ultimately, he felt convicted that if it had been his family, he’d have wanted someone to help them. Well, strangers they may have been, but it was family…brothers and sisters in Christ!

Hospitality is more than just opening your home up to others. It’s opening up your heart. We should do this everywhere. In the line at Wal-mart. At the park. On vacation. At church. We may do it with trepidation but we’ve got to do it without pride, without prejudice, without expectations, without complaint.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself…” Pretty straight-forward stuff.

Part 2 on Monday… Practicing Hospitality Within Your Family

Our family pow-wow about “practicing hospitality without complaining” brought about some Divine changes!

This sleeping beauty is my youngest daughter. She just finished singing “The B-I-B-L-E” to me, wreathed in dimpled smiles. She adores helping around the house, yesterday she even picked up, organized and put away her older sisters’ Horseopoly game (which was left out after they were done playing!) to surprise everyone. She’s a grand little girl!

How can little ones be so perfectly precious one minute and completely naughty and horrible the next? Easy, we’re all born with an old sin nature…and some of us with a stronger will than others! God says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us to “teach our children diligently, when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lay down and when you rise up.”

It’s so important to train them from the outset, and this means spending time with them…they learn so much from osmosis, so to speak. Elizabeth at the Raising Godly Tomatoes site calls this time together “tomato staking”–staking your child to your side, teaching and training all the day long. Follow the tomato staking link for an in-depth explanation of this theory. The point is, you stake them to you while they’re young, so they’ll grow up straight and productive.

Putting this in CAPs because it’s important:

I AM NOT CLAIMING TO BE AN AUTHORITY ON CHILD TRAINING. (On the contrary, that’s why I’m writing this post!)

YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE RESPONSIBLE TO GOD FOR HOW YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN. EVERY FAMILY, EVERY SITUATION IS UNIQUE, SO SEEK WISDOM FROM HIM BEFORE YOU THINK WHAT WORKED FOR ME WILL WORK FOR YOU…

That said, I am going to share my thoughts candidly, in the hopes that you might be encouraged to stay the course…and maybe learn some practical tips from my mistakes/successes.

What I Did and Didn’t Do

I definitely spent more one on one time with my oldest, as most moms probably do. Her vocabulary as a 10 month old was phenomenal, and by age two we were reading the Little House on The Prairie series–and Stormy of Chincoteague…she couldn’t get enough chapter books. In the car we’d play the “Bible Questions Game”–both of my older girls still love to rattle off their Moses facts (Jochebed–his mom, Amram–his dad, Aaron and Miriam–siblings) and the fact that Jesus, James and Jude were brothers…they begged me for Bible stories and morality tales about Princess Bratty and Lady Loveday.

We tried to be consistent in our training. We set up trial runs that were more about cheering on obedience than punishing for disobedience. We spanked when necessary. We talked about appropriate behavior before things like birthday parties or Christmas gatherings…our approach was more positive with the older girls, because we were more pro-active. With our youngest, we’re so busy correcting all the bad behavior that there’s hardly any time leftover for praising the positive.

She’s not a monster by any means. She loves helping, as I stated in the first paragraph. I’d hate for her to be reading this blog’s archives in a few years and think that mommy had nothing good to say about her, b/c she’s a totally precious little girl unless she doesn’t get her way.

Which Leads Me to My Number One Parenting Tip…

Letting toddlers choose their own way is a surefire path to destruction. They are too young to be left to their own devices (whether it’s time in front of the TV or complete freedom to wreck the house with their toys). There has to be a healthy respect for authority, ie, you want to train them from little bitty to ask your permission for everything! Lol. That sounds OCD again, doesn’t it, but believe me, it’s such a simple step when you start young and don’t let things slide as I have. Because you really don’t want them to run outside into the street whenever they feel like it, right?

Dialog such as:

“May I have the green cup, Mommy?” (**and then being able to handle occasionally getting the blue cup anyway)

“May I have a snack?” (rather than letting them help themselves to anything and everything, whenever and wherever, because this doesn’t teach them healthy eating habits or self-control)

“May I watch a movie?” (don’t let them decide when the TV gets turned on and off)

Every time they ask for permission, you are reinforcing that you are the one looking out for them, you are building trust, and teaching them contentment…while it’s still relatively easy to ingrain! And just THINK of all the temper tantrums you are avoiding!!!

**This doesn’t mean that you are saying “No” to everything…you want to tie heartstrings with your children, it’s a blessing to grant their desires when it’s reasonable, and if it’s not, you can explain why–sometimes. Sometimes they just need to take your word for it and not question your say-so. (Isn’t this a picture of the kind of grace relationship we have with God? And sometimes we don’t understand why He stops us in our tracks when we think we know what’s best for us! Maybe He’s just training us, ya think?)

I fully believe that most of the problems we’re having right now with our four year old stem from her having too many freedoms. Suddenly mommy and daddy are taking away these freedoms (her getting away with bad attitudes, etc) and she, of course, resents it! Doesn’t this sound more like a teenager issue to you? Ding-ding-ding!!! I believe that the teenage years don’t have to be full of rebellion and angst–if the training is done right in the early years.

I Have Proof (the mother protests!!!)

Yes every child is different, but in observing my three children, I can see the fruits of good training (and lack of!) so clearly.

When my 10 and 8 year old daughters wait till after Sunday school is over to eat the candy their SS teacher has given them, they are doing so because they want to eat it with my permission. And believe it or not, the self-control that takes is good for them! And here’s the thing: I have never told them they could not eat candy given to them without permission. They have the habit of asking permission deeply ingrained within them from their early years. Yes! My jaw drops when they ask permission for things like this, because they are better trained than *I* am…and their happiness while asking is evidence that it hasn’t hurt them any to wait. (I’ve since told them that they are old enough to enjoy candy in class if everyone else is!) An interesting thing to note, is that they don’t seem to have a sneaky bone in their bodies…and I’ve been radaring their every move!

So when do you start?

We started teaching certain sign language signs to our girls at 8 months of age. Sometimes it didn’t really catch on till later, but many of the signs were wonderful ways to introduce the proper way to get what you want! “Please” and “May I have a drink”, etc. Wow, they became such polite little things! If they didn’t ask nicely, they didn’t get what they wanted. Simple. And at that age, they usually took the quickest route to satisfaction. A painless way to teach a good habit that reaps so many benefits as your child grows older.

Another benefit to this, is your child will be the one standing to the side in a group of mischievous youngsters. They know better, believe me, because their mind has already been processing the fact that if they’d asked permission, it would have been SERIOUSLY denied and for good reason. I’ve noticed that many children act without thinking whatsoever– wrecking people’s property, putting themselves in danger, etc.

************************************************************************************

Well, hasn’t this turned into a ramble…just give it some thought, and ask God to give you wisdom and strength to train up ALL your children in the way they should go.

They don’t raise themselves. And you don’t get many second chances.

While eating out at the local diner yesterday, my four year old’s silliness fast became annoying. One minute she’d be poking non-stop tickles at her cousin, the next she’d be noisily clinking her silverware or leaning way over out of her chair, trying to topple her booster seat. Worst of all, daddy had to take her on his lap and give her a stern lecture when she ignored his two attempts to nip these antics in the bud. Depending on your parenting style, this might not seem so terrible…but trust me, it was loud, interruptive and she would not tone it down.

She reacts to correction with tears of self-pity, sometimes saying, “Everyone doesn’t like me, I’m going to run away…” (incidentally, I have no idea where she gets this, unless she’s heard it on some movie?)

Her bad attitude will surface when I least expect it, probably once or twice a day. She can be the sweetest girl in the world–we love her to pieces–but I think, being the baby, that she has royal expectations of her place in our family…

So I’m guilty of slacking off with this third child of ours. And it seems backwards. I should be an old pro at this parenting gig. Right?

I remember how pumped I was when we discovered I was expecting our first born, scratch that and back up further, the anticipation and OCD began in the conception process! I checked out almost a dozen library books on pregnancy and infant-toddler rearing before the pregnancy test even came back positive… I would be the best mom ever. Breastfeeding, scheduling, newborn read-alouds, teaching her sign language, protecting her from television and learning Spanish words for colors and numbers while playing Candyland… Hubby and I took parenting classes for each segment of the growing years, from newborn to toddler to the formative years, etc. And so far, these two oldest girls of ours seem to be on the right course…not so our youngest!

Excuses

I guess I got lazy. Maybe I didn’t give enough credit to the training we put into our older girls, thinking that, with luck, our youngest would turn out fine on half the effort. I was homeschooling the older two by the time youngest came along…so shoving aside the great training moments became a habit, and before I realized it, we had some major issues to address.

Also, I think we tend to be hardest on ourselves–there’s a ton of pressure to raise our children right and we’re so scared we’ll mess them up forever. So I’m trying to remind myself not to take myself too seriously here, just to roll up my sleeves and try to regain the lost ground.

More Later

Either later this evening or tomorrow I’m going to share some of the easy things we did differently with our older girls and the benefits we’ve seen as a result. Like night and day, the difference training made. It’s sobering to me, to realize that I’ve lost those opportunities (to teach good habits before bad ones are firmly entrenched) with my youngest just because I’ve “relaxed” my parenting style.

I know it’s not too late, it’s just going to take more perseverance on my part now and a lot of God’s grace!

My #1 Parenting Tip coming soon!

As promised, my gleanings from three days spent with a super-mom of six!

Some may consider a family with six children smallish, especially when contrasted with broods of ten-sixteen…but in my book, six is big. Consider the conversation I had the other night with friends at the pancake feed benefit for my s&bil. I was surprised to hear the husband admit that they were done (and glad to be!) after two children. I kind of gave him a hard time before sharing that I’d really like to have more. This is a Christian couple. I knew this guy in high school and he was ALL gushy over kids and babies. I thought he’d have a passel.

Anyway. *I* have always been somewhat intimidated by the idea of expanding my apron strings times six, so this visit to Jana’s was my chance to see how the pros do it!

First of all, I have to totally commend Jana and her husband for a job well done. Consistent in their expectations? Check! Scheduled? Check! Loving and fair? Check, check! Prayerful and always seeking God’s leading for their family? Definitely, and she’d honestly tell you she’s had to hang on tight to God, it’s been far from easy.

A little background, this lovely Christian couple have four biological children and are adopting two that they’ve fostered for two years. Both of the foster boys are high-maintenance, to say the least. We’re talking fetal alcohol syndrome, attachment disorders, etc. It’s been a long, tough road, and knowing their background, I half expected them to melt-down by the minute, but wow! I have such high admiration and respect for how far they’ve come with my friends’ dedication and persistence in training, and by the Lord’s grace on this special family.

How this family blessed me…

Something blossomed in my heart at each mealtime. There is something about fixing three hearty meals a day for nine children (hers and mine) that makes mothering take on an old-world worthiness again. I cherish my mental inventory of all these beautiful children seated around my friend’s island/bar and her table, waiting, smiling expectantly as Jana and I “dished” their plates up with steaming, rib-sticking fare. Like little birds. Oh the thought and time that went into preparing these three squares. After each meal, the troops would make their way into the kitchen, and file by the dishwasher inserting their plates and silverware into the appropriate racks. We always had one little guy who would gladly finish up anyone else’s scraps, interestingly, this boy was too picky to eat anything when Jana first welcomed him into her home. He’s since learned to be grateful and to branch out. You should hear the stories…can it be the same child? It didn’t happen by magic, people!

If challenging children suffering from neglect and FAS can be retrained this successfully, the rest of us have no excuse to put up with bad behavior from our sons and daughters.

A few of tricks that I learned:

On keeping track of details…

1. Big families need a “cup system”. With that many thirsty kiddos, a dishwasher could get dizzy. My friend solved this problem neatly by giving each child a place on the counter for their cup, with their name neatly labeled on masking tape at the counter’s edge. (See picture, and nope, t hose aren’t her kids’ names) This way they can keep drinks straight and use the same cup all day. Handy, huh? I decided to implement this one, even with my paltry three…mostly because I like the idea of 3 yo learning to recognize her sisters’ names…
2. Each child has different colored socks, for sorting ease at laundry time. I’ve also read about mom’s of many children marking a “dot” on the outsides of their sons’ tube socks with a different colored permanent marker for each boy.
3. Jana keeps a breakfast menu on her refrigerator…they’ve given up breakfast cereals (except for oatmeal) and now everyone knows what to expect Monday-Sunday. And breakfast is at 8:30 am every morning. This keeps her from serving breakfast for two hours as each child wakes up and straggles into the kitchen. She confided in me that she’s recently nixed the morning snack, realizing that a healthy breakfast really will carry a child till lunch. This is true, and I’m going to nip morning snacks in the bud as well. Afternoon snacks are different, the stretch between lunch and supper is quite long and needs broken up, but I’ve found that morning snacks usually work against you when lunch time arrives!
4. At each meal, Jana would have one or two helpers. Patiently she would show them how to chop potatoes or strawberries, or let them mix up ingredients. Likewise, her husband is so good about varying the children he takes with him to check pasture or ride along to a job site. Each of these six are getting quality mom and dad time.

On child training:

1. Jana taught her children the “stop, look, and listen” rule. She says they even had a sign up concerning this for a while–most of this type of training she had to do b/c she was starting from scratch on manners with the two foster boys. Basically, the stop/look/listen goal is to teach awareness of conversations going on, to keep the kids from interrupting when adults are conversing. Occasionally when we were chatting, one of the little ones would interrupt, and she’d remind them “Stop, look and listen!” and they’d place a hand on her arm and wait till she was done to speak. (Btw, having your child place their hand on your arm when you are busy talking to someone is a great way for your child to let you know that they need to tell you something w/o them barging in rudely. In turn, you cover their hand with yours so they are reassured that yes, Mom knows you are there, and she will give you her attention as soon as she is done with that thread of conversation. We learned this trick from Gary Ezzo’s Growing Kid’s God’s Way series)
2. You know how children sometimes chatter non-stop, or keep asking the same question as if they didn’t hear you answer them the first time? Jana has a really unique way of dealing with this, and again, she’s had to figure out ways to crash-train two little boys who had absolutely no training in how to be civilized before they came to live with this family. She has them cover their mouth. For however long it takes for it to sink in that they were running off again. What a concrete way to reinforce self-control that may be lacking in this area.

All in all, I was so impressed at Jana’s training and love for her family. In spite of all her protesting, she and her husband are amazing parents, with incredibly big hearts for God and family. If every child out there had parents half so dedicated and serious about their mission…I only wish we’d had more time there. What I glimpsed was just a drop in the bucket of what this couple’s commitment to the Lord, and to each other is being reflected in each of their children’s lives.

Proof of this? I left there wanting more kiddos. Suddenly everywhere I go I see pregnant women rubbing their bellies or young moms with baby carriers in tow. How can three days spent with a family of eight affect me so strongly? Dimpled, angelic smiles and wholesome happy faces could charm Snow White’s wicked step-mother into changing her M.O. It’s the families with one or two rude, bickering, spoiled children that make so many people want to stop at two. Families like Jana’s are the exception, folks. And I’m convinced with big families, so much more is required of every individual to make things successful, that responsibility, thoughtfulness, and gratitude almost come about naturally.

I want in. How about you?

We live in a crisis management society. We’re great at fixing problems, not so great at preventing them.

I think that’s why I have such high hopes about this new nutritionist the girls and I are seeing. Her passion for health and affordable prices are giving me hope that in the years to come, my family will be less in the hands of the medical community.

I mean, who wouldn’t rather go to someone who can teach us how to stay healthy vs. going to someone who relies on quick fixes that don’t address the root cause, not to mention the fact that their livelihood depends upon our continual illnesses?

Almost two weeks ago I was on the verge of pneumonia. I realized I had two choices. A) Go to the doctor, get X-rays done, and get on antibiotic. B) Go to the alternative doctor, and get adjusted and put on nutritional supplements and hope it works.

I went with option B. Dr. T gave me the best spinal adjustment I’ve had in a long time and did her applied kinesiology magic on me, and it was no surprise that all my weak points were in my lungs. So she put me on several nutritional supplements (22 a day for a month!) and two days into taking them I felt brand new!

I got to thinking about how it’s often the alternative approaches that get the most raised eyebrows. Most people are more comfortable going the traditional route, visiting the doctor and getting whatever prescription best suits their woes. We take our doctor’s word for it, because, of course, doctors know best. We’d rather let the doctor give us a quick fix, than implement healthy diets that require cooking from scratch and spending a little more money on organic fruits and veggies. And someday when it all hits home and turns into diabetes or heart disease, we’ll look back and wish we’d thought twice, and planned for our futures better.

There’s a great spiritual parallel in this line of reasoning. It’s much easier to go to God when we’re hurting and needy than when our lives are on auto-pilot.

When life is good, we concentrate on what most demands our attention. Often those things are material or relational. We think more time with our spouse would make us happy, or fewer financial worries, or less winter snow and mud! This just feeds the discontent; it’s a vicious cycle. Much like the overuse of prescription drugs wreak havoc in generating “smarter germs” with greater resistance to said antibiotics.

God is very often overlooked as the answer to our problems.

So how can we apply this? To me, the basic preventative measures we as Christians need to take boil down to this.

Daily Bible reading and prayer, implementing a Biblical worldview…

1. With our kids. Waiting till they are teenagers and full of rebellion is not the time to try to get their hearts back for God. Sure, there’s hope for those of us who are trying to reclaim that ground with teenagers, but the rest of us need to make the most of the time we have now…while their little hearts are ripe. It’s easiest now, believe me.

So talk to your babies about Jesus. Go down the line of “Mommy loves baby. Daddy loves baby. But who loves baby most of all? Jesus does!!!” When you go on walks with your little ones, point out the rocks and trees, the clouds and birds, and ask them over and over: “Who made these?” “God did!” Make Him such a part of your everyday life that your children look forward to night-time as a time to sing and pray together, and read the Bible, or listen to a special pastor on CD or DVD. Talk about how wonderful it will be to meet Jesus in heaven, to sit next to Daniel and hear first-hand his account of spending the night with all those hungry lions. Make it real to them by incorporating it into the minutes of your life.

Don’t make your faith a private thing. Your kids need to know what you’re praying for when possible, and how God has answered prayer.

I’ve mentioned before how important it is to have a “flight plan” in this life of unexpected twists and turns. It’s equally important that we prepare our children for the crises that will inevitably add turbulence to their paths. We won’t always be with them, but we can lay the godly foundation in their hearts, so that when their life is rocked, God is right by their side.

2. On your own and/or with your spouse. Good marriages aren’t luck of the draw. They take nurturing. They grow us up in the Lord like nothing else–well, maybe like child-rearing! Christian couples need to take their faith seriously. Every day, not just on Sundays. And yes, it’s hard. Satan doesn’t want it to be easy and our lives are hectic.

God has plenty to say about marriage, yes, even about spiritually unequal marriages. We need to be familiar with God’s take on these things so that when hard things attack our relationships, we’re anchored in truth! What happens to unanchored ships at sea? They drift further and further out, and when storms come, they capsize.

Surround yourself with like-minded Christians.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As Iron sharpens Iron, so one man sharpens another.” Having close bonds with other families who share your values and ideals is so helpful. Our kids need those examples. My oldest told me that during her recent overnight at our friends’ house, she and her best friend spent some time alone, praying that God would help them to make daily Bible reading a priority, among other things.

If you need encouragement in homeschooling or homemaking or marriage, there are some great online Christian communities at your fingertips for instant encouragement. I love to recommend the Raising Godly Tomatoes website, especially their message boards. Let me know in comments if you want to use my info as your referral to join. And for marriages or parent/child relationships in need of restoration, there’s an awesome resource called Restore Ministries. Check them out.

Preventative measures. An “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. We’re proactive about our rights, and our health, why not our spirits and those of the ones dearest to us?

Before I was born, my parents lost a son. At six years of age, David was hit by a car, never to regain consciousness. As a child, I was fascinated by the many details…subsequently, all my life, I’ve known that life is precious. Children do die.

With my 7 year old daughter’s various health trials this year, especially her four day fight with fevers above 103 degrees, I’ve found myself dwelling a bit more on the unutterable pain of what it must be to outlive your child. Especially when their suffering is involved, suffering you can do nothing to ease. I realize I’ve encountered nothing new, nothing earth-shattering, compared to some of you who have lost a child, whether to miscarriage or a horrible accident or disease. And I’m not promoting thoughts of doom and gloom, merely suggesting that we appreciate the time we have with these precious ones, and in the meantime, pray God draws us close in the best ways possible to prepare us for whatever our future, and that of our children, holds. Without a flight plan, the turbulence of life could easily toss us into storms that break us to pieces.

I’ll Lend For You

“I’ll lend you, for a little while, a child of mine,”He said

“For you to love while he lives and mourn when he is dead.

It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, but will you

till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and shall his stay be brief,

you’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, as all from earth return

but there are lessons taught down there that I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true,

and from the throngs that crown life’s lanes, I have selected YOU.

Now will you give him all your love not think the labor vain

nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again.”

I fancied that I heard them say “Dear Lord, Thy will be done.

For all the joys thy child will bring The risk of grief we’ll run.

We will shelter him with tenderness, We’ll love him while we may—

And for the happiness we’ve known Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him Much sooner than we’ve planned,

We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes And try to understand.”

Written By: Edgar A. Guest

Did you read this through tears, as I did? Then go hold your children close and thank God for all your blessings.

Sometimes we take the best things in life for granted.

Sickness is a good thing. For ten days now, I’ve been on an escalating ride, experiencing the various symptoms of the cold/flu virus. You know what I miss the most about being healthy? Everything!

My voice especially. I’m so grateful that this virus isn’t a terminal one. I never realized how dependent I am upon my voice…I miss reading aloud to my girlies. I’m just now able to speak above a whisper without spiraling into a coughing fit that leaves me exhausted on the couch. Not to mention humming along to favorite songs without scaring my children!!!

My 3 year olds response to my whisperings, has been to perk up, glance around, and whisper right back. As if we have this grand secret, which puzzles her out, if the wrinkled-nose expression on her face is any indication!

Because of this sickness, and thanks to all the TLC I’ve gotten from my dear family, I’ve had plenty of time to rest up. I’ve done a load of laundry here and there, and a few dishes, but everything has really been taken care of for me. Yesterday it was therapeutic to clean the bathroom, wash all the sheets and make a chicken and rice casserole for supper. So satisfying to be able to take the reins back on this household of mine…

“To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors, and holidays; to be Whitley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes, and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.” ~G.K. Chesterton

Love that quote!

Yes, sickness is a good thing. It reminded me of how blessed I am when healthy.

And my family is SO glad to have me back!!!

My 7 yo and her calamities will be the reason I’m completely gray by January of next year. No kidding.

Busy day today. Friday mornings are reserved for Bible study and lunch, usually here at my house, with my parents. Our recent six inch snowfall, and the slippery hill up to our home made an easy excuse for me to pack up the girls and my half of our lunch and go over to Mom and Dad’s. Main reason, we have four-wheel drive. They don’t!

We had a great time with them, and afterward headed North to one of my favorite shopping towns…hoping to find the “perfect gift” for my nephew, in time for tonight’s birthday party. Mission accomplished, and in time to swing by Baskin Robbins for ice creams all around. (You would have thought I was Santa Claus, btw, my girls were that excited about single dips!)

We arrive home with just enough time to put away groceries and get everyone changed into party clothes and while I’m in the shower I hear those words every parent hopes they never hear while they’re in the shower…or anywhere else, for that matter: “MOM! Come quick, (7 yo) is hurt, BAD!”

Argh! What does BAD mean anyway? That I still have time to rinse the soap off, or that I need to wear bubbles to the ER?  

The high-pitched wailing soon answers my question. I’m toweling off as my daughter stumbles into the bathroom, blood all over her chin and running out her mouth. Immediately I do what all parents do when faced with a crisis. Pray. Actually, it was more of a yelp for help. I hollered to 10 yo to look up the dentist’s phone number in the phone book and got an instant migraine when I saw two of my 7yo’s upper middle teeth hanging sideways and shoved back in her mouth.

Why is it, when things like this happen, you can’t remember ANYTHING? I honestly think that is why husbands are so necessary. Yes. Anyway. I could NOT remember if my dear girl had lost BOTH upper front teeth! I knew she’d lost one, and thought she’d lost both, I mean, don’t most kids lose their two front uppers and bottoms early on in their tooth loss journey? I knew one of the ones dangling was a primary tooth, but the other one looked dangerously adult!

I know something about myself now. When it comes to my children, I am not good in a crisis. I managed to get myself dressed and OF COURSE, it’s after dentist hours, so I bother mine at home, only one problem, he’s not home, not even near our fair city. OF course. But his wife is a gem and gives me all of his dentist friends’ phone numbers. Hee hee. Only they’re not home either, nor at their offices, nor answering their tellies. Maybe they know better on Friday nights. A-hem.

So hubby FINALLY gets home. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you what happened while I was in the shower. Evidently in their excitement over aforementioned birthday party, and possibly still high on Jamoca Oreo ice cream cones, my two oldest girls were wrestling around (yes, girls rough-house too, amazing isn’t it?) and oldest kicked middle in the mouth. So oldest is weeping the whole time, heartsick that she’s left her dear sis maimed for life. Because mother dear (that’d be me) was absolutely sure that it was a permanent tooth hanging half in and half out of 7yo’s mouth. And I’m really praying by now, because when I ran out of dentist numbers to harass, I tried calling my parents, and both sisters and couldn’t get through to ANY of them to have them pray!

Hubby and his parents are all here by now and having a pow-wow crouch around 7 yo’s open mouth. Of course, all the bleeding has subsided and it’s easier to see that the duo teeth are both primary. THANK YOU, Lord! Our dentist’s wife called around that time and said her hubby would be back in town in an hour and a half, and would meet us at his office. So we sent our 10 yo and our 3.5 yo along to the birthday party with their grandparents, and sweet-talked 7 yo into yanking the looser of the teeth out herself. The dentist easily got the other one out, and pronounced it good to go.

When we got to the birthday party, 7 yo ran up to big sis and said, “Thank you for knocking out my teeth!” Seriously, it was a blessing, because 7 yo has a tooth condition in which her primary roots don’t dissolve, so her loose baby teeth take FOREVER to fall out. She usually has to have them removed by our dentist, so that her permanent ones have a shot at coming in straight. So, yes, “all things do work together for good.”

Btw, if your child does happen to lose one of their permanent teeth, don’t put it in milk (The ER told us to do that if it finished coming out–this was when I was convinced it was permanent). Our dentist said that the best thing to do, as long as you aren’t worried about it being swallowed, is to have them tuck it in their bottom lip. The saliva protects it and keeps it till the dentist can put it back. Getting them in quickly guarantees it will bond better and heal as good as new.

Well, my tooth fairy duties are calling me. How much do you think these two teeth should be worth?

My oldest is helping her Grand-dad work calves this 19 degree weatherful mornin’; my middle daughter is lying on the couch watching Little House on the Prairie after a miserable night of fever and little sleep, and youngest is still in her footie pajamas, coughing but happy.

After just discussing my stance on letting fevers run their course in the comments of the Vick’s VapoRub on Feet post, you all would have been raising your eyebrows at my frenzied run for the cupboard and some Tylenol last night.

Meltaways rolled from my palm, onto the countertop, then off to the floor. At the same time, my little girl cowered into me, alternating between hiding her eyes and furtively looking beyond us to the doorway. If you’ve ever seen Sixth Sense you know how creeped out I was. She’d woken up, sweaty and disoriented, hallucinating. What was she seeing, what scared her so much? People. Lots of them. Ones I couldn’t see.

She’d been running a 104F fever (40.0 C for my NZ friends) for probably 4 hours at that point, but since she was resting well, I wasn’t worried about her needing Tylenol. And I’m still not sure the Tylenol did her any favors, because well within its 4 hour parameter she had two more episodes–hallucinations. It was so strange, because we had her giggling, and listing off all the names of our dogs, her cousins, the 27 books of the New Testament and right in the middle of seeming lucid, she just went off about the giants in the kitchen and begged me to turn off the kitchen light so she wouldn’t see them anymore. Of course we prayed for/with her and I held her close on the couch most of the night, but what a horrible experience. She did this last year when she had influenza but somehow I’d forgotten.

This morning her fever is 103F. Her hot little forhead is heating up cold washcloths almost as fast as I can replace them, but thankfully she is drinking 2-3 cups of liquid an hour. Thanks to the hydrogen peroxide treatments she has little to no cold symptoms anymore, only the fever and malaise, though she did vomit once last night…

Thank you all for praying, my little girl needs it! I’m just so thankful for plumbing, and that midnight jaunts to the outhouse in zero degree weather aren’t necessary!

On the home front, dh finished the “mini-bathroom” remodel up last night. We are rejoicing to have a working shower and bathtub again! We even found the exact match to our bath tile-board, so we only had to replace the one wall section…

How are all of you guys this end of the week Friday?

I’m posting over at Weekend Kindness today, here’s what’s up:

What is the “good~better~best” lifestyle? Why, it’s the grading scale of who you are, and how you represent yourself (good), your family (better), and God (best). Practicing “good” manners becomes the bare minimum against such expectations.

This is a parenting post intending to help us rev it up a notch! What goals do you have for your children’s training in 2008?